The Road To Somewhere - Part 2

The Road To Somewhere Part 2

I know we're all on a road to somewhere.  My road is on the horizon and I'm excited about the journey to get there.

Where do I want to be?  The road I want to take is the path to professional acting and filmmaking.  I know, I know...like the critics and naysayers always say, "Oh, that's a tough field and really hard to break into."  That's the same song and dance I heard from countless others throughout my life, whenever I did share a dream or ambition.  In hindsight, I spent too many years listening to others tell me how hard things were to accomplish and how the dreams I had were so challenging because of A, B, C or Z, or whatever their worldly knowledge was professing at the time.  I knew that, but I bought into the difficulty and created unwarranted fears and a sense of pre-spawned failure.

Why?  Why did I listen to voices of reason surrounding my dreams, when I should have been listening to my own heart and gut all along.  Oh how I wish I could travel back in time and talk to the young boy, the young man I was and have a do-over.  The reality is...I can't.  I get it.  What I do get is that I have the ability now to listen to my heart- my gut, and follow a road or a path that can get me where I want to go.

I still hear the naysayers talking and telling me how hard it is to make it here and there, but the beautiful part of that is I don't listen anymore.  There are countless others who live vicariously through their egos and profess the odds, successes, and failures of others.  Not this time.  This time, there will be one voice, one person responsible for my success and failures - me.

With that said, I will follow the patient and noble example of the turtle...slow and steady wins the race.  As I watch and learn carefully from the successful actors and actresses who have made their way to the big screen and syndicated tv and cable, I study and plan the path that will move me in their  direction.  I recently went and saw Spiderman 2 at theaters with my son.  I was inspired once again to see the number of older male actors who play supporting and significant roles in these and countless other films.  As I sit watching, beyond the goosebumps, I am inspired, encouraged and enthusiastic to continue to study and perfect my craft as an actor.

I often joke with people as I share my experiences as an actor, telling them that there are the A-List actors and actresses we all know about.  I tell them I am starting out as a Z-List actor and am slowly and patiently working my way up.  I have been fortunate to have been in a variety of 25 features, short films, student films, web series, and television productions.  Some as an extra and the rest where I have had the privilege to learn as a character actor or lead actor.  That's not to brag and as far as I'm concerned, to me, it's not a competition.  I compete with myself to make myself a better actor with each new opportunity.  Each one I can honestly say has be a great experience, helping me to learn and grow as an actor.  Where I am now?  I'm growing.  Filmmaking and acting are truly subjective.  One person's perspective is and can be completely different from another's, and that's what I absolutely love about my chances to make this a successful career.

I will be my greatest critic and we are usually hardest on ourselves when it comes to judging and assessing our successes.  I'm guilty of it myself, but I know that as long as I am moving in a positive direction to improve myself, my skills and my vision to be successful - the sky is the limit.  I also know and adamantly believe that how I interact and treat those around me will directly and undoubtably affect my successes as well.  It all goes back to the idea of karma again.  What comes around, goes around and simply put, treat people the way you want to be treated.  Humbly speaking, I do that every second I can and I hope that I'm making a difference in the lives of those people, and am making their lives better for the experience.

So again, where is the road I'm taking?  Right now it circles Milwaukee, Wisconsin and I plot a course for film markets that are growing and thriving.  Austin, Texas?  New Orleans, Louisiana?  I don't know, but I do believe there are many roads to L.A. and Hollywood, and that road is different for each person.  One year? Two years? Three years?  It doesn't matter.  I believe things happen for a reason, and they happen when they are meant to happen.  Right now, this moment, my role is as a 'real father' for my son.  In the meantime, I will take new roles as I'm able, and will continue to grow and learn with each experience.

Thanks for reading.

Best Wishes,

Matt

The Road To Somewhere...

The Road To Somewhere...

The road to somewhere is what I'm on now.  And no it's not a drug.  My somewhere is finding the place in my life that is going to lead me into the next 45 years of my life and I hope and pray that I'm lucky enough to get a second handful of 45-years.

I blog in my mind everyday and so often wish I had the time to get it all out or down on paper or virtual paper as this is.  So this is that opportunity.  I'm a visual and kinesthetic learner and for me, writing has been one of the greatest gifts I was ever given.  That's not to say that I think I'm a good writer, or that anyone thinks I'm a good writer.  It's simply means that I value and find peace in writing, whether it's stories, poems, screenplays, letters, journals or whatever I'm inspired to write at the moment - good, bad or indifferent.  For my own peace of mind, my writing here is going to help me free my mind of some of the regrets and mistakes I've made in my life, and hopefully offer some insight to others (or possibly myself if I'm the only one who reads this).  Nonetheless, I want to pave the way for many happy and positive, experiences in years to come.

Other than my mother or father, and professional athletes Walter Payton (Chicago Bears - Football), Paul Molitor and Robin Yount (Milwaukee Brewers - Baseball), my hero has always been Abraham Lincoln.  I was always amazed at the long list of failures that he endured before persevering and becoming president.  The last thing in the world I want to be is president, but the point is, I feel a great sense of hope for my life seeing someone who overcame so many failures, and found such incredible success and respect later in his life.  In no way, shape or form do I compare myself to him, but instead, compare and share experiences and failures.

I speak openly here as I hope it helps to give hope or inspiration to others, even in some small way.  In my lifetime, I failed and lost everything in five businesses, I allowed the illness known as bipolar disorder to rob me of a legitimate chance to play professional baseball, lose my marriage, lose childhood friendships, and overall it robbed me of years and years of happiness in my life.  Over the course of the last two years I started and lost my fourth and fifth business ventures, costing me over $30,000 in life savings and leaving me with nothing, I lost both my parents to old age in the same year, was unemployed for 13-months, homeless for an entire month, and almost lost my son to life-threatening health issues.  Abe Lincoln.  

I hit rock bottom and theoretically lying on my back, realized I had no where to go but up.  I thought about Abraham Lincoln and had to believe that somehow, somewhere, things were going to get better and I would find a way to get well and be successful.  What successful meant, I didn't know, but I immediately thought, being the best father I could, was the best place to start.  I also like and remembered the quote from Sylvester Stallone from one of the Rocky films, "It's about how hard you can get hit (he meant by life) and keep moving forward.  How much you can take and keep moving forward.  That's how winning is done!"  I really believe that.  I 'know' there are thousands of great quotes to inspire, but that one just stuck with me.

As far as religious beliefs go, I'm simply going to tell you that I do believe in God or a higher power and my faith is very strong.  That's as far as I go with that.  It's up to others to find and know what 'they' believe and live their lives accordingly.  I'm not going to judge anyone else.  That's not my place.

I do also believe that what you focus on most, does usually come into your life.  I objectively found myself caught up in so many days, months and years feeling down, feeling angry or any number of other negative emotions.  I can with 100% certainty tell that those thoughts brought on some of the most difficult times and experiences in my life.  Somehow for so long, I just couldn't see it or knew any better to change it.  In the same thread, I also believe that life has a way of coming back around, whether that means good things in your life or bad things in your life.  Some may call it karma, but I absolutely believe it's out there.

Which led me to a point where I just decided I wasn't going to focus on an illness anymore.  I wasn't going to focus on the negatives, the anger, the resentment, the regret that I see 'so many' people carrying with them everyday.  I just didn't want that anymore.  It's not to say that I don't still have bad days, but I honestly and sincerely try to find the best in every situation regardless of how difficult, challenging or simply shitty it may be.

Back to the theoretical moment lying on my back.  With the fourth week of being broke and homeless looming on the horizon (in January of 2014), my hope and faith came to light.  I was offered a job and found a new place for my son and I to live.  Not three weeks later did my car break down and again, within another two weeks the money came my way to buy a new (used) car.  I just kept believing that things were going to get better, humbly appreciated the new job and a place to hang my hat, and waited positively for whatever the next day brought.

'That' is the road to somewhere I am now on.  I don't know where it's taking me right now, but each day I'm again, theoretically driving down the road, trusting that the next 24 miles (hours) is going to get me closer to where I want to be.

Where do I want to be?  I'll tell you next time.

Thanks for reading.

Best Wishes,

Matt