New Directions
I have to say, I get frustrated with myself when I don't take more time to write here, when writing is one of my greatest passions and simple pleasures.
Regardless of whether the writing is considered 'good' or 'quality' is simply up to the people who choose to read. Since the three things I love to do most - write, perform as an actor and make films, are so subjective in nature I've learned to let go of the worrying what others think of my work.
That release has allowed me more time to focus on making my work the best it can be and free myself of the stress, anxiety and opinions of others. I absolutely respect what others think and feel, and when it comes down to gut-level thoughts...I love the saying, "What others think of you, is none of your business." (None of 'my' business)
It comes down to being kind, respecting the differences in others and treating others as you want to be treated. I know and have learned that by doing those simple things, everything seems to fall into place nicely.
With that said, what does 'new directions' mean?
Well...I spent the last nineteen years in the classroom teaching elementary education. I had many, many great experiences. There were many days of long nights, extra work, some anxiety, some stress and much worry about the well-being of my students and their families, as well as mine. I had countless proud, fun, encouraging and life changing moments that I will remember forever. Most importantly I hold a deep, sincere, heartfelt hope that I made a significant difference in the lives of the students I taught. I may never see those affects, but I can only hope that my efforts and sincerity for their learning and emotional growth, contributes to and takes them to wonderful places, offering them lives that are fulfilling and satisfying.
Prior to those nineteen years beginning, I had a desire and dream to pursue film and acting. I loved and still love everything there is to love about films; their creativity, their messages, the way they entertain and move us emotionally, and how they have the ability to take us emotionally into the minds and hearts of the characters and stories - away from our own lives, even for a short time. I want to be a part of that, to do that for others in the characters I play and the stories that I write.
I've had many people close to me, both friends and family who felt I 'should' be a teacher and that it was where I needed to be. What I wanted back in 1994 was to step into the path of being an actor. I knew it would be hard, the road would be long and the process no less than a challenging one. However, I listened to those voices and words of advice, began teaching, and realized twenty-one years later I'm sure I lived those years for others and not myself. I can't regret the path I made, because it has shaped me and has helped make me the man I am today.
I was able to find a compromise and began acting and modeling in the summers when I wasn't teaching. Those opportunities continued to grow and before I knew it, I was finding regular work in student and independent films, along with my commercial gigs. The fire for more continued to burn, but time and financial security just weren't consistently on my side. So I stayed with what I knew best - teaching, and waited patiently for every and any opportunity I could to act, write and be involved in film.
The hardest part was always hearing that little voice in my head (no not hearing voices), but the voice in my heart that you sometimes don't hear until later in your life, telling you that it's never to late to find 'that one thing' that you would love to do and pursue it with all your heart and soul.
What truly matters is that I listen to my own voice and follow my heart and passions, or dreams - now. So for me, it's time for a 'new direction'. I'm taking that path I stared at back in 1994 - to be a professional actor and writer. It will be hard, the road may be long and the process may be no less than a challenging one. And I am sure, without a doubt, there will be a plethora of people who will say how difficult and unattainable it can be. I'm 46 years old and you just have to come to a peaceful place in your life, where the voice on the inside - is smarter, stronger and more passionate than the millions of voices that surround you. Opportunity 'is' there if you want it badly enough.
I truly believe there are many roads that lead to Los Angeles and Hollywood. Film is everywhere. If the roads are all out, well...then I hop in a helicopter or plane and parachute in (theoretically of course). I'm putting percentages and odds behind me...and putting opportunities and optimism in front of me.
Stay tuned...
