Well...it's a little over five years later and so much has changed since this blog began.  The last post left off on a journey to raise money for the film Bipolar.  While a successful fundraiser ensued and much progress was made, the money raised covered the fundraiser itself, as well as the initial stages of pre-production to move the project forward.  With great sadness, it proved to not be the right time for the film to come to fruition and the project was put on hold.

My career in teaching and raising my son remained my focus and I redirected my time and energy fully, back into teaching and being a good father.  So for the last five years I did just that.  While I continued to enjoy my job as a teacher, the students, their families and the people I worked with, something was missing, lacking.  Deep inside I knew there was something else I needed and wanted to pursue.  Over the course of the last year, with a great amount of thought, research and reflection, I felt it was time to follow my instincts and my heart.

For a number of years now I have been doing acting, print modeling and voice over work during my summers off.  18 years ago I wanted to pursue those things as a full-time career, but sadly, I followed the advice of others and not what I passionately wanted to do.  I think we all have things that we 'dream' of doing, but security and simplicity most often take over our decisions to chose our lot in life no matter how bad we want it. 

I was at a point where I didn't want to make the same mistake twice.  My first mistake...not pursuing professional baseball with the vigor and commitment that I could have, with the talents I was blessed with.  I allowed my illness of Bipolar to stand in the way of my abilities to perform and cope emotionally with the challenges I needed to overcome, to reach the next level.  How badly we all want to turn back the clock on our lives so often and in so many ways.  I know I have reflected on that far too often in my life.   I don't want to look back with regret...anymore.  My saving grace and reassurance that I stayed on the right path, is the simple fact that I was blessed with a beautiful, intelligent and wonderful child, thirteen years ago.  I wouldn't change that for anything in the world.

Which brings me to the present.  I didn't want similar regrets of looking back and second-guessing my life all over again.  I didn't want to be 57 years old, retiring and wishing I would have done...something different.  So that time is now.  No more wondering.  No more wishing.  We can sit and dream all we want and the more time we sit and think about it, the more time we have to question our decisions and give others time to talk us out of it.

This is the start of that dream, pursuing it with every ounce of energy I have to give.  No turning back and no regrets. No more wondering, wishing or second guessing.  I know it is an incredible leap of faith and I am willing and ready to take it.  I have to say, it is a feeling that is almost indescribable.  A tremendous, emotional weight has been lifted from my shoulders.  I wake up everyday now excited about what I am going to do, to accomplish and experience.  I know there will be challenges like any other job I have ever had, and I know there will always be people who doubt, criticize, have opinions and will question my decisions.  So be it!  My days of worrying about what other people think are behind me.  They have to be or I will never move forward to where I want to be.

All I know is that I am going to enjoy every possible moment I can...make a difference or positive impact in the lives of those I meet and share my experiences with...and most importantly...live each day with no regrets.

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